#bc socially speaking thor holds ALL THE POWER

[tyrannuspitch]

every so often i remember the proposed childhood flashback scene in TR in which loki would have bullied thor and i get so angry steam starts coming out of my ears. mhm yeah that's totally the power dynamic at play and would not be retconning anything significant at all, that's why the scenes that made it into the movie include one where thor casually threatens to murder loki using the symbol of his superiority in the eyes of their father, one where thor bulldozes over loki's protests about "humiliation" and uses him as an inanimate weapon by physically throwing him across the room, and one where thor just straight up tortures loki while giving him a smug speech about how LOKI needs to do more self-reflection 👍 i know it's literally not real and can't hurt me but jesus christ the amount of victim blaming you have to be doing to even come up with that concept...

[woulddieforperrytheplatypus]

I've been rewatching all the Loki content to get ready for the new show and I have thought of A Phineas and Ferb AU™ for your viewing pleasure (and if anyone wants to turn any part of this into an actual fanfic I would owe you my life)

this post was brought to you in partnership with @dumbausfromdanville

You know how the first Thor movie ends with Loki yeeting himself off the Bifrost and falling to earth? What if, instead of going after the Tesseract, he falls straight to the Tri-State area?

Jane, Darcy, and Selvig all seemed to be on vacation, right? So Thor presumably took place during the summer — say, perhaps, ending on June 3? So he falls right onto Phineas and Ferb's rollercoaster just before it goes down that ♫ three-mile drop straight down ♪. He has no idea wtf is happening so it's not like he gets the chance to sit down and put on a seatbelt, so he's stuck holding on for dear life for the entire rollercoaster ride which Phineas and Ferb find weird but they're not really concerned bc they're chill lil dudes and tbh this isn't too far off a normal day for them.

Phineas and Loki strike up a none-too-pleasant conversation (not that Phineas notices Loki's bad mood; he's too Him to realize not everyone is rainbows and sunshine all day, every day), and our favorite lil disoriented demigod has to figure out where the fuck he is now ("You there. What realm is this?" "Danville 🙂" "Wut da fuk?") and what the fuck he's supposed to do now that he's here.

Phineas ends up inviting him to hang out for the afternoon, and Loki is about to turn him down but then he smells the pie. He's never had doonkleberry pie before so obviously he has to try it. Then, when Loki's no longer hangry, they can hold an actual conversation. It's lowkey more Loki wallowing in his own self-pity than anything else, but Ferb recognizes Asgard when Loki mentions it so he and Phineas piece together that he's a god pretty quickly.

More importantly, though, they figure out that he's completely alone, and because Loki never mentions trying to, you know, murder his brother and lowkey overthrow the monarchy, they just kinda assume Loki's family sucks (Ferb is completely prepared to start the anti-Thor club but Phineas stops him because he doesn't want his brother to get struck by lightning) and adopt him (without his consent, but it's not like he has anywhere else to be -- and he did like that pie).

Loki has no desire to build anything with the boys He thinks the idea of a backyard beach they make the next morning is stupid — even more stupid than a regular beach, and that's saying something. But over time, he gets more involved -- not just with the boys, but with the entire family. He helps the boys build their inventions. He talks about human history with Lawrence and corrects much of his knowledge on mythology. He lets Linda teach him how to bake seriously, her pies are so good. He even suffers through Candace's mall trips as long as he gets to go to that fro-yo place on the second floor (though he draws the line at any conversation involving romance).

He's still a little skeptical of the platypus (and he feels like the platypus is a little skeptical of him, too) but Phineas insists that he's "just a platypus" and he "doesn't do much." Loki doesn't realize that Perry's keeping an eye on him for OWCA, nor does he know that Monogram has absolutely no idea what to make of the dude so he hasn't actually told any of his superiors about him. As far as the government is concerned, after the fiasco in New Mexico, Loki just disappeared.

This makes it fucking hilarious when the boys accidentally steal the superheroes' powers in Mission: Marvel and the superheroes show up at the Flynn-Fletchers' front door only to see fucking Loki. Loki just shuts the door in their faces without a word because what the fuck?, but eventually Phineas and Ferb go check the door and they agree to help the heroes (much to Loki's chagrin), which, of course, isn't complete with Candace fangirling over them (also much to Loki's chagrin; she never fangirled over him). At first the Avengers are fully convinced that Loki is responsible for stealing their powers, and Loki never actually denies it because he's a little shit but Phineas, Ferb, and their friends are very insistent that Loki didn't do anything (except a little bit of manual labor putting together the satellites because they're 10 and he's a whole-ass demigod).

At some point, Thor and Loki have a very heated discussion about the events of Thor, and it's pretty much all news to the Flynn-Fletchers and their friends. They're not really sure what to make of it so they basically glue their mouths shut and watch it all play out. I'd like to think it goes something like it does in The Avengers and that a) Thor is pissed because what the fuck have you been up to Loki you fucking dumbass, b) Thor has been in mourning since Loki yeeted himself into the abyss and he wants to make sure the guy knows it, and c) Loki does not take it seriously at all he's being antagonistic the entire time because he is so sick of Mr. High-And-Mighty's shit. In the end, Loki storms out of the SHEDquarters and Phineas doesn't even think to try to stop him until he's halfway out the door and it's too late.

He shows up again when Phineas, Ferb, and the Avengers try to fight the bad guys in the mall with the wrong powers and he basically singlehandedly saves their asses until superhero Perry shows up. As everyone's favorite shapeshifter, he has absolutely no problem figuring out that this beaver duck dude is the Flynn-Fletchers' platypus. He has no idea what to do with that information, but it sure is information that he now has apparently. (At this point, poor Loki has a very warped sense of what earth is supposed to be like lmao).

Phineas tries to get Loki to come back with them after superhero Perry grabs them and carries them home. Instead, Loki cuts himself loose and falls like 30 feet straight down (and tbh after falling from the Bifrost, that's nothing to him) and peaces the fuck out.

Loki ends up accidentally bonding with Candace and Isabella over feeling useless and unwanted (and he absolutely gets his own verse in Only Trying to Help because it's what he deserves), but unlike the two girls who are hell-bent on changing that, Loki is content wallowing in his own self-pity. He's tried this whole "being important" thing before and he ended up in self-exile for it. He's not putting himself through it again because he really doesn't expect it to end well. But then the powerless heroes decide to face the villains again, and with Candace and Isabella in space and Perry nowhere to be seen, he realizes it is once again up to him to keep the tri-state area safe (which he knows is a stupid priority but he's gotten kind of attached to these stupid little humans and he wants to keep them safe).

Then the heroes get their powers back and they join Loki (and Perry and the mysterious waffle gun in the sky) and beat the shit out of the villains. Thor and Loki work together in the heat of the battle which serves as a Great Bonding Moment™, and once the villains are gone, they have a nice lil heart-to-heart where they both apologize for their past. Thor remarks that Loki seems to have grown a lot over the last couple of months and tries to bring Loki home with him, but Loki refuses. He'll never be welcome back into Asgard, no matter what Thor may say.

But he is welcome with the Flynn-Fletchers, who are completely over the fact that he tried to ruin Thor's life and take his not-so-rightful place on the throne (except Candace who's very skeptical about having him back but it's not like Linda will believe her if she tries to tell her what Thor and Loki talked about so her opinion is unfortunately as irrelevant as it usually is on the show).

And early the next morning, before anyone else is awake, Perry gets an alert that he's needed in his headquarters (presumably to talk to or about Fury). He quietly sneaks off, only to find Loki waiting at the bottom of the stairs for him. They have a very nice "conversation" (not that Perry speaks) about the superhero Ducky Momo they saw the day before, and Loki assures him that his secret is safe, thus starting a much-needed bromance between Loki and Perry because it's what my babies, goddammit!

Anyways yeah if anyone wants to write a fanfic about Loki hanging out with Phineas and Ferb during his self-exile I would give you a socially distant high-five because I want to read it but I have too many other fanfics on my plate to start this one for at least a few months. It doesn't have to follow this prompt literally at all (I swear I wasn't trying to get this in-depth with it but this is what I do apparently) or it can follow this prompt exactly idc i just want a PnF/Loki fanfic 🥺

[pink-fest]

Dating Peter Parker + you’re Tony Stark’s kid:

THERE HAVE BEEN SO MUCH POSTS ABOUT THIS AND I JUST THINK IT’S SUCH A FUN TOPIC TO WRITE ABOUT- I LOVE READING THEM and well i guess i wanted to WRITE SOME OF MY OWN TOO ( peter can be aged up a bit here bc he was around 15 in homecoming ??? i just wanna be safe bc i wrote some nsfw things )

btw i absolutely can’t get over Spiderman: Homecoming, Tom Holland did an absolutely brilliant job portraying Peter Parker i am in LOVE

p.s. i also imagine this taking place during Civil War bUT IN THE END EVERYBODY BECOMES FRIENDS AGAIN OK I DONT WANT THIS FAMILY TO FALL APART

this is also going to be LONG OHGOD

ok so i can just imagine you and peter meeting for the first time by fighting alongside each other during Civil War, (TONY DOESN’T GET TO ACTUALLY SAY YOU’RE HIS DAUGHTER BC THERE’S JUST TOO MUCH GOING ON IN THE MOMENT ) so peter just think’s you’re also a new recruit for the team (you kinda are and you want to be-)

the next time you guys meet is when you attend his highschool (dad! tony wanted you to experience a more normal life than being stuck in the tower with all the tech)

c’MON kIDDO GO SOCIALIZE with REAL peopLE

YOU CAN’T BE LOCKED IN HERE FOREVER -

 peter recognizes your face (he thinks you’re pretty and bADASS) and you end up sitting next to him in class

you quickly figure out he’s spiderman bc 

really peter? you think i don’t recognize that cute voice of yours?

you and peter end up getting real close bc you guys like the same things and basically go through the same crime fighting stuff

that includes the adults (Tony and May ) not knowing about you guys sneaking out to kick some bad guy butt

tony catches you two doing vigilante work and peter has the shock of his life when you address tony as your dad

IRON MAN’S YOUR DAD

you get grounded btw

there’s this time that you punch Flash in the face bc he was bullying peter, you are protective oF THIS BOY 

peter is blown away by you

wow she’s incredible

peter is protective over you as well bTW HE HATES SEEING YOU HURT

speakING OF HURT HE SAVES YOUR ASS BIG TIME ON THIS ONE MISSION and gets badly injured

YOU TAKE CARE OF HIM- WHICH LEADS TO YOU AND PETER having A MOMENT AND THINKING

i’m falling for you-

peter ends up officially confessing his feelings for you at the top of this high rise building one night

he literally swung you off your feet to get there too-

you’re more beautiful than all the lights here in New York City-

PETER BEING AN ABSOLUTE GENTLEMAN 25/8

YOU SMILING ALL THE TIME BC PETER IS A SWEET CINNAMON BUN AND HE’S PRECIOUS

opens doors for you

carries your bags and books

you and peter bLUSHING AND BEING SHY WITH EACH OTHER 

hand holding

LOTS OF haND HOLDING

forehead kisses

cheek kisses

HE LOVES TO GIVE YOU KISSES- PEPPERS YOUR FACE WITH THEM ALL THE TIME

wrist kisses, finger kisses, hanD KISSES

soft kisses on the lips

but then again

heATED MAKE OUT SESSIONS YO

hair tugging because wow look at his soft locks i feel like he’d grOAN

ear lobe nibbling

cUDDLES HELLO

that boy would love cuddles he’D BE SO SOFT AND CLINGY IN THE BEST WAY

nooOOOOOoo don’T LEAVE ME HERE

peter i was just going to get us some foOD

i doNT NEED FOOD your love aND PRESENCE ARE MORE THAN ENOUGH sTAY WITH ME

is2G PETER

cute nicknames for each other

sweetie

baby

princess

love

angel

MOVIE MARATHONS

GAMING SESSONS

going to COMIC CONS TOGETHER (Ned comes along every now and then)

you’re buddies with Ned too btw

peter being so excited at cons and he’d be so delighted to have you to share the moment with

he’d spoil you and buy you so much things

COOKING AND BAKING 

bABY DO WE STILL HAVE COOKIES LEFT

yOU ATE THEM ALL LAST NIGHt-

oH

back hugs

piggy back rides

cheek squishing

PETER YOU’RE SO CUTE

love, mY CHEEKS

btw THE AVENGERS SHIP YOU AND PETER IN SECRET

spying on you guys and trying to catch u both in the moment

they finALLY find out u guys are official bC YOU AND PETER ARRIVE AT THE TOWER AND YOU GIVE HIM A SMOOCH 

avengers hiding behind the couCH

!!! THEIR MOUTHS HAVE INTERLOCKED IN A KISS!!!

dAMMIT THOR SHHHH

peter blushing

you blushing bC U DIDNT KNOW THE REST OF THE FAM WAS THERE

avengers looking at each other knowingly

well except for tony

bc tony doesnt know

overprotective dad! tony 

notices one day that the avengers are being all fond of you and peter SITTING next to each other during breakfast

uHHHH what are you all whispeRING AND COOING ABOUT

moRE HEATED MAKE OUT SESSIONS WOO damn sPIDEY BOY

hickeys

hiding the hickeys from tony with help from the team

PUT MAKE UP ON IT

WEAR A SCARF

nuzzling

hand written notes and letters from peter

peter hitting on you even if you guys are already dating

hey there gorgeous

peter pLS

never ending i love yous

i love you so much peter

i larb you too baby

peTER

i’m just kidding i love you too my princess

being rather possessive of each other in a cute sweet way

you’re mine okay?

always yours

making love for the first time

you both are glowing the morning after 

after sex glow

sex

sweet vanilla sex

hot rough sex

sex sex sex

kisses kisses

huGS SO MUCH HUGS

you run your fingers through his hair

he loves that

so 

much

peter falling asleep on your lap

but then he also likes you sitting on his lap

listening to each others heart beat

tony eventually finds out about you two bc he walks into your room to give you a goodnight kISS  d’AWW WHAT A SWEET DAD

tony ENDS UP KISSING PETER’S FOREHEAD INSTEAD OF YOURS BC THE ROOM IS DARK and YOU AND PETER ARE CUDDLING NEXT TO EACH OTHER

PARKER?!!!

m-mR STARK 

TONY GOING NUTS

you wakiNG UP TO TONY  YELLING AND CHASING PETER ALL THE WAY DOWNSTAIRS

avengers waking up as well

tHATS IT. FAMILY MEETING- RIGHT NOW

you protectively hugging peter while tony tries TO ABSORB  A L L THIS

the avengers are all just sitting there, looking at each other then cooing at you and peter again

ok sO hOW LONG HAVE I NOT KNOWN

tony gives in because he’s always approved of peter

oK FINE yOU GUYS CAN DATE

everyone is relieved and happy- mostly relieved

my father Odin has blessed this uNION TONIGHT

THor enOUGH

if u hURT MY DAUGHTER YOU’RE DEAD PARKER

tony is supportive because he LOVES PETER TOO and wants you both to be happy

he actually likes you both together bUT HE WON’T ADMIT THIS

you and peter being a power couple

#couplegoals

you both kick ass and live happily ever after